![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/images\/emoji.php\/v8\/ffc\/1\/16\/1f44d.png\")
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\u017d\u00e1ci 9. t\u0159\u00eddy v dne\u0161n\u00ed dob\u011b:<\/strong><\/p>\n Autor u\u010ditelka Z\u0160<\/p>\n Pokud si mysl\u00edte, \u017ee u\u010ditelem m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt ka\u017ed\u00fd, <\/p>\n Abyste si to pat\u0159i\u010dn\u011b p\u0159edstavili, vybrala <\/p>\n \u010clov\u011bk by \u0159ekl – pro\u010dsem vlastn\u011b ty vousat\u00e9 a prsat\u00e9 d\u011bti je\u0161t\u011b chod\u00ed <\/p>\n No proto\u017ee je pro n\u011b \u0161kola jen druh <\/p>\n Tak, p\u0159ipraveni ke vstupu do t\u0159\u00eddy?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tot\u00e1ln\u00ed v\u00fdtlem<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Za\u010d\u00e1tek hodiny. Nenechte se zm\u00fdlit mal\u00fdm po\u010dtem <\/p>\n Zbytek p\u0159ijde tak za \u010dtvrt hodinky – mus\u00ed <\/p>\n Jakmile se \u017e\u00e1ci usad\u00ed, za\u010dnou si vym\u011b\u0148ovat <\/p>\n \u201eKret\u00e9ne, debile, \u010dubko, zmrde!\u201c ozve se <\/p>\n \u201eMrd\u00e1m na tebe, \u010dur\u00e1ku vyjebanej! (osloven\u00ed <\/p>\n Kdy\u017e ty \u0161t\u011bbet\u00e1lky za cenu vy\u0159van\u00fdch hlasivek <\/p>\n T\u0159etina t\u0159\u00eddy zalehne se sta\u017een\u00fdmi kapucemi <\/p>\n Nyn\u00ed m\u016f\u017eete za\u010d\u00edt s v\u00fdkladem.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ov\u0161em i kdybyste jim \u0159\u00edkali, \u017ee jste pr\u00e1v\u011b <\/p>\n P\u0159i psan\u00ed na tabuli dejte pozor, aby v k\u0159\u00edd\u011b <\/p>\n Nikdy ned\u00e1vejte k rozboru v\u011bty, jako Chlapec <\/p>\n P\u0159i \u201etot\u00e1ln\u00edm v\u00fdtlemu\u201c za\u010dnou h\u00fdkat, <\/p>\n \u017d\u00e1ci s nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00edm po\u010dtem uhr\u016f na cm\u00b2 jsou <\/p>\n Donut\u00edte-li je to smazat, vylij\u00ed na lavici <\/p>\n Po otev\u0159en\u00ed oken dozajista n\u011bjak\u00fd \u0161ikula zap\u00e1l\u00ed <\/p>\n To si snad d\u011bl\u00e1te\u2026<\/p>\n Vytr\u017eeni t\u00edm cvrkotem z letargie za\u010dnou \u017e\u00e1ci <\/p>\n Hoch, jen\u017e za cel\u00fd rok nesundal z hlavy <\/p>\n Ne\u017e se sta\u010d\u00edte na\u0161tvat, nahrnou se zadn\u00ed \u0159ady <\/p>\n Po n\u00e1vratu do lavic zji\u0161\u0165uj\u00ed, \u017ee jim zmizel <\/p>\n B\u011bhem vy\u0161et\u0159ov\u00e1n\u00ed se oz\u00fdvaj\u00ed v\u00fdk\u0159iky: \u201eDr\u017e <\/p>\n Sm\u011b\u0159uj\u00ed k \u017e\u00e1kovi v p\u0159edn\u00ed lavici, kter\u00fd celou <\/p>\n To v\u00edte, jsou to citliv\u00e9 d\u011bti a maj\u00ed sv\u016fj <\/p>\n \u201eM\u016f\u017eu na z\u00e1chod?\u201c pt\u00e1 se ml\u00e1denec, kter\u00fd <\/p>\n Jeliko\u017e je tuto hodinu u\u017e sedmn\u00e1ct\u00fd, kdo chce <\/p>\n \u201eTo si snad d\u011bl\u00e1te prdel? To je moje <\/p>\n Ale nem\u016f\u017eete. Nem\u016f\u017eete jim zabavit mobil, <\/p>\n M\u016f\u017eete od nich akor\u00e1t tak chytnout v\u0161i, <\/p>\n A tak se rad\u011bji modl\u00edte, aby n\u011bkdo z t\u00e9 hordy <\/p>\n T\u00edm adrenalinov\u00e1 lekce kon\u010d\u00ed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n U\u010ditel\u00e9 p\u0159i evakuaci vyb\u00edhaj\u00ed naproti do <\/p>\n Ti nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed \u0161\u00edlenci z\u016fst\u00e1vaj\u00ed a\u017e do d\u016fchodu.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mysl\u00edm, \u017ee to nech\u00e1m bez koment\u00e1\u0159e, proto\u017ee koment\u00e1\u0159\u016f je dost na FB, kde jsem tento v\u00fdte\u010dn\u00fd \u010dern\u00fd humor t\u00e9to uboh\u00e9, ale zna\u010dn\u011b nadan\u00e9 kantorky sd\u00edlela.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Spousta z v\u00e1s Facebook nem\u00e1 a byla by velik\u00e1 \u0161koda v\u00e1s o toto satirick\u00e9 zrcadlo dne\u0161n\u00ed \u0161koln\u00ed reality ochudit.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Kr\u00e1sn\u00fd v\u00edkend v\u0161em! <\/p>\n <\/p>\n M\u00ed\u0161a K.<\/em><\/p>\n [sexy_author_bio]<\/p>\n Views: 27U\u017e jsem se dlouho tak nezasm\u00e1la, a\u010dkoli pohledem kantora by mohl, pro zm\u011bnu m\u016fj „v\u00fdtlem“ p\u0159i \u010dten\u00ed, p\u016fsobit dosti necitliv\u011b. A tak se omlouv\u00e1m. Sm\u011bji se form\u011b, nikoli obsahu. Klobouk dol\u016f, pan\u00ed U\u010ditelko!!!!! \u017d\u00e1ci 9. t\u0159\u00eddy v dne\u0161n\u00ed dob\u011b: Autor u\u010ditelka Z\u0160 Pokud si mysl\u00edte, \u017ee u\u010ditelem m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt ka\u017ed\u00fd, kdo 45 minut […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ranni-kavy"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t
\nkdo 45 minut udr\u017e\u00ed k\u0159\u00eddu a mo\u010d, jste na omylu.<\/p>\n
\njsem v\u00e1m 9. t\u0159\u00eddu v \u010dase, kdy jsou v\u0161ichni
\np\u0159ijati na st\u0159edn\u00ed \u0161koly.<\/p>\n
\na nez\u016fstanou rad\u0161i doma, kdy\u017e se stejn\u011b odm\u00edtaj\u00ed u\u010dit?<\/p>\n
\nz\u00e1bavy, estr\u00e1da, show.<\/p>\n
\n\u017e\u00e1k\u016f v u\u010debn\u011b.<\/p>\n
\nnakoupit v \u017dabce naproti ku\u0159ivo, \u010dipsy a Redbuly.
\nKdy\u017e omladina doraz\u00ed, veval\u00ed se s n\u00ed do t\u0159\u00eddy
\n\u010dmoud tr\u00e1vy, cig\u00e1r a tab\u00e1ku z vodn\u00edch d\u00fdmek.<\/p>\n
\nfla\u0161ky s pit\u00edm (pitn\u00fd re\u017eim zaru\u010duje \u0161koln\u00ed \u0159\u00e1d).
\nVzduchem l\u00e9taj\u00ed z prvn\u00ed do posledn\u00ed lavice
\nplastov\u00e9 lahve, kter\u00e9 se ob\u010das za letu sraz\u00ed.<\/p>\n
\nobvykle po takov\u00e9 kolizi, co\u017e druh\u00e1 strana
\nkvituje slovy:<\/p>\n
\n\u201e\u010dur\u00e1ku\u201c je dnes mezi ml\u00e1de\u017e\u00ed konverza\u010dn\u00ed obrat
\nstejn\u011b jako kdysi \u201evole\u201c).<\/p>\n
\nzti\u0161\u00edte, za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 nejklidn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed f\u00e1ze hodiny.<\/p>\n
\nna lavice dospat noc str\u00e1venou na ICQ, Facebooku
\n\u010di Wowku (World of WarCraft),
\nt\u0159etina si za\u010dne vy\u0159izovat korespondenci v
\nmobilu a zbytek osazenstva tup\u011b z\u00edr\u00e1 vyr\u00fdvaje
\n\u017eiletkou klikyh\u00e1ky do lavic, \u010di, pat\u0159\u00ed-li k
\nhnut\u00ed emo, do sv\u00e9ho p\u0159edlokt\u00ed.<\/p>\n
\nvynalezli elix\u00edr nesmrtelnosti, jedinou reakc\u00ed
\nbude cedulka NUDA K CHC\u00cdPNUT\u00cd! op\u0159en\u00e1 o pen\u00e1l
\nd\u00edvenky, kterou vzali bez p\u0159ij\u00edma\u010dek na
\ngymn\u00e1zium, p\u0159esto\u017ee b\u011b\u017en\u011b p\u00ed\u0161e \u201ebr\u00edle\u201c, \u201ev\u00fdtr\u201c
\n\u010di \u201el\u017e\u00fdce\u201c.<\/p>\n
\nnebo v houb\u011b nebyl \u0161pendl\u00edk a uvnit\u0159 tabule
\np\u0159ilepen\u00e1 vlo\u017eka nebo pou\u017eit\u00fd toale\u0165\u00e1k.<\/p>\n
\nm\u011bl mal\u00e9ho pt\u00e1\u010dka, L\u00e1\u010fa objel vesnici \u010di Jedli
\njsme vejce natvrdo. Jak\u00fdkoli dvojsmysl doh\u00e1n\u00ed
\nznalce Kame\u0148\u00e1k\u016f a Prci\u010dek k nep\u0159\u00ed\u010detn\u00fdm
\nz\u00e1chvat\u016fm sm\u00edchu.<\/p>\n
\nnekoordinovan\u011b sebou zm\u00edtaj\u00ed, a\u017e se sm\u00edchy sval\u00ed
\npod lavici, kde je\u0161t\u011b dlouze tlu\u010dou rovn\u00e1tky o
\nlino.<\/p>\n
\ndvojsmysly uneseni natolik, \u017ee zu\u0159iv\u011b \u010dm\u00e1raj\u00ed po
\nlavici koso\u010dtverce a n\u00e1pisy PRC, MRD, \u0160UK.<\/p>\n
\ncel\u00fd obsah \u0159edidla a ve t\u0159\u00edd\u011b je r\u00e1zem
\nned\u00fdchatelno.<\/p>\n
\nna parapetu noviny, tak\u017ee se dovnit\u0159 veval\u00ed
\nhust\u00fd d\u00fdm.<\/p>\n
\nkolektivn\u011b sy\u010det, bu\u010det, me\u010det, m\u0148oukat,
\nvz\u00e1jemn\u011b si prozv\u00e1n\u011bt mobily \u010di pou\u0161t\u011bt p\u00edsn\u011b
\ntypu: \u201eJsem gay, jsem teplej!\u201c<\/p>\n
\nk\u0161iltovku, v n\u00ed\u017e vypad\u00e1 jako lego pan\u00e1\u010dek, na
\nv\u00e1s ukazuje vzty\u010den\u00fd prost\u0159edn\u00edk \u201ejako \u017ee jste
\njedni\u010dka\u201c (vivat, Topol\u00e1nek).<\/p>\n
\nk oknu, proto\u017ee po ulici pr\u00e1v\u011b proj\u00ed\u017ed\u00ed b\u00fdval\u00fd
\npropadl\u00edk na \u010dty\u0159kolce.<\/p>\n
\ngel na vlasy, roze\u010dten\u00fd Blesk \u010di Inteligentn\u00ed
\nmodel\u00edna (!).<\/p>\n
\nhubu, prase, buzno, far\u00e1\u0159i!\u201c<\/p>\n
\nhodinu zaryt\u011b ml\u010d\u00ed a provinil se t\u00edm, \u017ee nechod\u00ed
\ns ostatn\u00edmi kr\u00e1st do \u017dabky ani hulit na ku\u017eeln\u00edk.<\/p>\n
\nn\u00e1zor.<\/p>\n
\nbyl b\u011bhem letn\u00edch pr\u00e1zdnin dvakr\u00e1t venku, tj.
\n60 dn\u00ed str\u00e1vil od r\u00e1na do noci u po\u010d\u00edta\u010de, a u\u017e
\nd\u00e1vno ztratil pojem o realit\u011b.<\/p>\n
\nna WC, nepust\u00edte ho.<\/p>\n
\npr\u00e1vo!\u201c za\u010dne k\u0159i\u010det a vy m\u00e1te chu\u0165
\nsrolovat z\u00e1v\u011bsnou ceduli Pr\u00e1va d\u00edt\u011bte, co vis\u00ed
\nna zdi, a pr\u00e1sknout ho s n\u00ed, a\u017e by hubou smazal
\ntabuli.<\/p>\n
\nvylou\u010dit je ze \u0161koly ani poslat do zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00ed bez
\njejich souhlasu.<\/p>\n
\n\u017eloutenku nebo k\u0159iv\u00e9 obvin\u011bn\u00ed ze sexu\u00e1ln\u00edho
\nobt\u011b\u017eov\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/p>\n
\nkone\u010dn\u011b zavolal, \u017ee je ve \u0161kole bomba.<\/p>\n
\n\u017dabky vsadit si Sportku, jedinou vidinu
\nz\u00e1chrany, anebo je sanitky odv\u00e1\u017eej\u00ed rovnou do
\nBohnic, pokud si u\u017e p\u0159edt\u00edm neprokl\u00e1li srdce
\nukazov\u00e1tkem.<\/p>\n
\n![\"yes\"](\"https:\/\/popelky.cz\/verze7-0\/admin\/js\/ckeditor\/plugins\/smiley\/images\/thumbs_up.gif\" "\\"yes\\"")
<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"24150NWM.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/popelky.cz\/verze7-0\/text_img\/24150NWM.jpg\")
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